The Plans I Have

God interupts. 

At the beginning of time nothing WAS.

And then God made it BECOME.

He made it become because he IS.

He does this thing where he interrupts the natural flow, and what we consider and understand to be the natural order of things, to do something supernatural. He actually does this every day but He doesn’t always draw our attention to it at that moment.

We tend to call these occurrences coincidences. Not to say that every coincidence is from the fingertip of God, but we would do worse to chalk every one up to mere chance.

When we treat coincidences as though they mean nothing, it reveals we are not paying attention. We are not fully alive.  When we close our minds to new and original thoughts that God wants to give us, we miss out. Treating interruptions as though they are unwelcome puts us at risk of missing out on the purpose of our entire lives.  Life itself is but a series of interpretations; “life” (as John Lennon put it so well) “is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”

You are less likely to find a story in the Bible where a man or woman planned out their entire life and followed the plan to it’s fruition with neither delay or revision, than you are to find accidents, u-turns, change of heart, and faith– the essence of things hoped for and not yet seen.  Abraham was tested.  He was not privvy to God’s plan when he was commanded to kill his son.  Moses was told to lead the children out of Israel into the dessert.  Saul was struck down and became Paul. Mary conceived a child without knowing a man. I’m certain that none of these figures expected these things to happen to them. Did they all respond perfectly? No. Are their stories still recorded for us to learn something from? They are.

It is common knowledge that good planning requires sufficient information. Otherwise, it is not called planning–it is called risk. We do not have enough answers at our disposal to plan out everything.  There will always be something left up to chance.  Ah, but there is that word again.  Chance. How does that word make you feel? What if you didn’t have to leave it up to chance? What if there was an omniscient being who wanted nothing but good for you for the rest of not just your life on earth, but also eternity?

What if we didn’t have to stress about what tomorrow brings? What if instead of leaving our future to the void, we could leave it in the hands of someone who knew what to do with it and had good plans for it?

What if there was someone who was trustworthy of offering our thoughts and desires and worries to? What if there was someone we could trust?

Ah yes, of course.

But there is.

Because He IS.

Dissasociated

I feel like someone else

I don’t like it

It doesn’t feel good

Inside me there are voices fighting

Arguing about who will get to drive

And it doesn’t look like anything from the outside

Literally nothing

At all

Perhaps nothing but a flash of pain in the eyes of my body

Eyes that change as the personalities in me filter through and take their turns

Too Long

Seasons do not last forever.
They pass
Leaves change color
Temperatures rise and fall
Another one comes
To take its place
So why
Is this season of darkness lasting so long
Where is the morning?
Where are the flowers?

Media

When I became conscious that the media I expect myself to consume, so often consumes me instead,

It still was not enough to make me stop watching it.

I realized how many hours over the week I have lost to a scroll with glittering stories–the vast majority of them curated deceptively.

It never fails to cause me to be insecure when I compare the worst parts of my life to another’s best.

It is unfortunate that it is so easy to do this.

When I am not selective about what media I consume and I only swallow each and every glob of flashing entertainment that I come across…

Sometimes it makes me think:

“Have a little self-respect,

you whore.”